Episode MMIV – Lesser Scabbee

These fowl which as well as the similar but less aggressive Great Scabbee were always about us, drawing blood with claw and sharp beak, as we crossed a narrow isthmus from an island of smokes to a wooded land where we might find materials to construct a vessel to carry us away from this accursed land and its smoking valleys and recalcitrant inhabitants who despite our profound sermons and promising declarations and our greatest entreaties, including the whip and the stake, both of which required terrible exertion on our part and were delivered with righteous zeal, not only failed to accept the reign of our Suzerain but rose up against us and took from us some of our most dedicated proselytizers. Nevertheless, careful drawings were made of these beasts by His Holy Excellency, The Royal Philosopher Natural, as evidence for Spontaneous Generation. © mmg 2007

Episode MMI – Perdire

So that the blasphemers might be punished and enjoy the terror of fire and smoke, the Grand Seigneur of the Holy Frond did cause all those who removed the Grand writing from view and declared that they should not be seen as it offends their benighted eye and falsely defined morality to be cast down and to confront the molten grate and writhe in pain for what they had done. And, writhe they did, begging uselessly until they confessed the full measure of their fecklessness and morbid guilt. And, so we marched forward into a land filled with smug castigation fearing nothing but our failure to wield a steady hand on the cudgel. (From “The Voyage of Discoveries,” The history of the great proselytizing of the foul unbelievers and may curses fall upon those blasphemers who attempt to prevent its telling © mmg 2007