Episode MMXLI – Restitution

As we awaited our trial, sentencing and fate, there came before us as had so often in the past, a chance to redeem ourselves and to make us once again worthy of entering paradise as true holy warriors and to enjoy in paradise the ministrations of many pure, modest maidens. For as we sat in the hot sun in the courtyard of doom before the holy court of true prophesies, the religious police brought out a wretched creature, a woman who had disobeyed her husband and hid her daughter away when it was his intention to sell this child as a pleasure servant to a rich man. Having broken the most sacred laws governing how a woman should behave by failing to obey the rule of her husband she was soon to be stripped bare and beheaded to punish her with death and much worse, shame. Seeing this, we at once knew that this could be our salvation and endeavored to perform a most sacred act by stoning her to death. And, this we did with small stones to prolong her agony and to ensure our forgiveness. For, is it not a holy warrior’s duty to pray many times a day and to see that the law of the great teacher is obeyed? © mmg 2008

Episode MMXXXIX – Bird of Doom

And so, we were brought before the palace of righteous justice wherein the religious scholars shall determine our guilt according to the ancient laws and pronouncements of the bringers of the true word. We stood before the gates waiting to be led inside for a day and then more until finally came forth a designate to read us the charges of which we are guilty and the punishments to be administered after the trial and condemnation. These we learned were failure to slay infidels with sufficient zeal, failure to stone immodest women who were not wearing proper attire, consorting with and then failing to strangle harlots for their sinful ways and a lack of bathing and insufficient prayer for which the punishment in all cases will be the severing of limbs followed by beheading and whipping, all to be carried out by the most holy religious police. Thereupon, and the designate pointed towards a tree on the branches of which was roosting, the most feared bird of doom that shall eat our flesh. How could we escape this terrible fate and achieve paradise? Tune in next time to The Voyage of Discoveries and learn what happens next. Same time. Same station. © mmg 2008