Episode MMXXI– The Confessor

For an endless period, our brave pilgrims, intent on vanquishing the unclean and teaching true modesty by means of the cane and stick languished in rooms of darkness, unable to attend to their prayers in a proper manner and treated to blasphemy on all sides. Then, without warning, as the record states, they were brought forth, aching of thirst and doubled over by befouled food, blinking in the harsh light of obscene torches to stand before a most obscene female in strange, mortifying raiment, a testament to the immodesty of unbelievers and their unclean thoughts. She was accompanied by a fearsome fowl, her symbol of office. Our undaunted pilgrims called for her beheading as the true law dictates but their supplications were met with derisive laughter by their immoral guards. Forthwith, this female, apparently unaware of what our pilgrims knew to be her place, explained the nature of the confessions that had been prepared for them, announced their fate and then commanded that they be taken to smothering rooms to await their punishment. Would this be the end of our brave and unbowed pilgrims? Would they rather than the heathen be given salvation and their faith suffer insult most foul? Tune to the next episode and be the first in your neighborhood to find out. (Copyright mmg 2007)

Episode MMXIX– The Prioress of Beasts

Having gained entrance to a great city by the sea, our company was horrified to see the level of lewdness and depravity practiced therein and set about to redeem such barb by sending forth minions of propriety with whips to punish those who refused our admonition, many of whom were of the female gender. These creatures walked about immodestly and without proper supervision and we caned them in hopes of teaching them proper behavior. But, they often failed to accept the error of their ways and threw stones, upon which we endeavored to slay them, but were immediately set upon by fearsome beasts of an unknown type, obviously brought up from the depths by witchery. Surrounded as we were, we had little choice but to be brought before the greatest witch of all, the Prioress of Beasts, who totally unclad and unashamed, took our measure and separated us from the young boys who provided us with comfort and proclaimed us unwelcome in her city and fit only to be in chains lest we take up again our proselytizing, leaving us in fear of what would be next. (Copyright mmg 2007)

Episode MMXIV – The Bird God Priest Approacheth

Some of our company happened upon a great ceremony which has been deemed worthy of adoption. Each year to ensure that their sacred Giver of Truth is given sufficient respect and is not insulted, the Bird People take a likely candidate from among those who have transgressed in thought if not in deed and present her to the Grand Bird God priest for his dark purposes after which, she is beaten with 200 sticks for the further transgressions of heathen immodesty, failure to protect her purity and the bringing of dishonor to her family. As this is done the remainder of the transgressors and those who may have read or thought a wrong thought in particular are quickly put out of their misery, their screams bringing joy to the messenger of the Giver of Truth as the sacred law so dictates. (Copyright mmg 2007)